8 years ago my sister suggested I find a way to publish the amusing emails I sent her about our dog Zoe. Now there is blogging! Zoe tales are about Zoe (3 1/2 lb Chihuahua), Gracie (bigger and the world's friendliest Chihuahua) and other stuff I am thinking about. Enjoy!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Chihuahuas 101

From Animal Planet's Dogs 101 series, Chihuahuas!

And note to Discovery - make your videos embeddable. Readers who have the option of just watching the adorable dogs running around and learning all the cool and important fun facts about the breed would more likely watch the video here and get turned on to the series than clicking through.

Anyhow - though I doubt anyone reads this sadly neglected blog anymore - if you see this post, click. Cool series, great video, watch the Chihuahuas and then go find other breeds you like.

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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Hello World, There's A Song That I'm Singing

C'mon Get Happy! - The Partridge Family

It's New Year's Day and I'm not making resolutions. I'm also not making goals. I looked back on the last set of New Year's goals I wrote two years ago and I achieved only one. It was important. The rest weren't achieved because my priorities and perspectives shifted throughout the years. Life happens, things change.

Last year I started trying the practice of choosing a word to focus on and to provide a theme and touchstone throughout the year. Christine Kane has a fabulous explanation of this practice. Unsurprisingly (if you know me) I couldn't choose just one word. So last year I had three:

  • Effortlessness defined as "in its own perfect time" and which requires trust
  • Fearless which equals love
  • Authentic which requires honesty

2007 was in some ways was a very difficult year for me, chief among which was because of the death of my dog Zoe. However, I begin 2008 with nothing but love for my life in 2007. I learned much and transformed my life in some subtle ways and have realized that I am happy.

For those who had a notion, a notion deep inside/that it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive - Bruce Springsteen "Badlands"

However that's not to say that I have nothing left to learn or ways in which to grow or that my life cannot continue to improve. So for 2008 I'm choosing a new theme and focus (without leaving behind my words for 2007, rather seeing them as more fully incorporated).

About a month ago I started the Complaint Free World Challenge and I'll continue until I reach 21 days free of complaints, criticisms and gossip.

I also learned something about myself because I opened myself up to hearing an important message. Although I'm pretty good at living life I have a tendency to stop and look back and get stuck analyzing and examining the past. The analogy was presented to me as climbing a ladder and when I look up and climb (towards God, towards my highest and best self, towards the future) that ladder is golden. So in 2008 my theme will be to "keep climbing" and living my life like it's golden...

Cross Posted at Beyond Help and Pop Consumer


Sunday, July 22, 2007

Rest Peacefully My Dear Sweet Girl

5/23/1994 - 7/16/2007

On the morning of July 16, 2007, Zoe left this life. Her heart finally got too big for her body to hold. I think the irony is poetic - she had to leave because this world got too small for the bigness of her heart. There are many stories I want to tell and are a part of this journey - stories I have been meaning to blog but have not and will retroactively - but this is my testament to her spirit and an expression of my grief, my love and my gratitude.

I am human and I am selfish. Although Zoe's health was not optimal this past year and her death was therefore not a surprise it was still a shock and emotionally devastating. Although I am grateful for this past year with her, I still wanted her to live forever. And, knowing that is not possible, my heart still stubbornly clung to the hope she would make it to the upper end of a Chihuahua's life expectancy even though my head knew I should consider it a gift of God's Grace that she lived for 13 years and that I got to spend most of those years with her.

I have had to pass through the stages of grief out of order. We were on a business trip at the time and I had to go to work a few hours after she died in my arms. Zoe was so stoic through her pain and I could be, too. I've cried some but too quickly dried my eyes and put in drops to make the red and the swelling go away. I have unpacked her things and put them away and I'll donate the medicine I refilled and food I purchased on faith just before she died. I've left her monogrammed pocked bed that she loved a giant hole into for Gracie to sleep on. Gracie looks for her but has after a few days learned that she no longer must wait for Zoe to be fed before she can eat. We all mourn in our own way and in our own time. :^)

I wonder if I will be hit with a wave of weeping and, if so, I hope it's not at the BlogHer Conference. If it is, please understand. And I will still need a hug - I haven't had enough.

The story of love is not of mine for Zoe, it is of Zoe's for me. I am humbled that she chose me as her favorite human. Zoe has always been a one human, pack of two, dog. She was my sister's dog until I willed her to allow Zoe to live with me instead. At first, for a long time, months if not years, Zoe waited patiently for my sister to return. After a couple of years there came a time when I realized that finally Zoe loved me best. Imagine that a creature who is utterly dependent on the kindness of humans for its survival decides that you are the best human on the planet and they give you all the love they have without judgment or reservation to the point of being unwilling to die if you are not there. I am a better human for wanting and trying to be worthy of such an awesome love.

I was not the only one who recognized that Zoe was special. So often people would tell me that although they didn't like dogs or little dogs or Chihuahuas Zoe was different. Because of her ability to bore into you and touch your soul with those giant brown eyes of hers. Because of the way she would shyly wait for Gracie's exuberance to die down and allow her to sidle up to someone for a pat. Because of the way she would cuddle up on your lap and defend you, any one of you, from an infidel who, by reaching for Zoe, might dare breach your personal space or attempt to take away from your cuddle time by growling or snapping at them.

And so I am grateful. Grateful for Zoe's life. Grateful for the lessons she taught me. Grateful for the comfort her presence in our pack brought to Gracie. Grateful for the time I had with her. Grateful to all the kindness shown to her by friends, family, neighbors and BlogHer conference goers. Grateful to her veterinarians who took such amazing and loving care of her. Grateful that she passed on her own before the vet could administer the shot I had made the necessary decision to give her. Grateful for the comfort of knowing that it was time for her to go, that she is no longer suffering or in pain and that she was able to hang on until she was in my arms safe and knowing it was OK for her to go.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

We're still around!

Hey Zoe fans - we're still around! We'll be back here someday but in the meantime come check us out at the new blog party hangout - Vox!

Beyond Help


Sunday, September 10, 2006

9/11 - Happy Birthday, Poppy Rose

This year, September 11 would have been my grandfather's 100th birthday.

Joshua Rose was the first African-American City Council Member in Oakland, California. Prior to that he established the Negro YMCA in Oakland.

He loved playing golf, eating peanut brittle and my grandmother. He took me to A's and Raiders games when I was a kid.

Today we celebrated his life and my grandmother's 93rd birthday. I'm glad to have some happy memories to hold tomorrow along with the sad ones.

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